That day I almost didn't make it back..

It was Last day in Taipei and we were getting ready to head to Korea and then Japan. As Jess and I were browsing the night market in Taipei I suddenly started having coughs. At first I didn’t think much of it since I’m sensitive to dust and temperature so it came as a shock when I realized that little cough suddenly mutated into a full blown flu like disease. The next morning (about 5-6 hours before our flight to Korea), I started experiencing symptoms such as chills, fatigue, diarrhea, muscle weakness with the exception of fever and vomiting. These symptoms got even worst as we sat at the airport waiting to board the flight. I was literally a walking zombie, feeling weak and shivering everywhere I go. Once I boarded the plane, I immediately asked for a blanket and slept 3 hours straight till we got to Korea. My body did feel a little better after some rest and because I didn’t have a fever, I was lucky enough to not get quarantined from immigration.

Once we checked into our hotel in Korea, Jess and I went out for a quick bite and then I was basically knocked out at the hotel. During the middle of the night I had a nose bleed, I figure it was the combination of cold and pain reliever medicines I’ve been taking, the weather and how hot the room is. Jess canceled all our plans for Korea so I might as much rest as I can (I basically slept a good 24 hours). The symptoms persisted as we headed for our next flight to Japan (again no fever or vomiting).

During our flight to Japan I slept most of the way there and when I woke up, I suddenly an overwhelming heat in my body, I started having cold sweats and my lips started to turn pale according to Jess and it felt like my whole body is about to shut down. With my last ounce of strength, I asked jess if she got something sweet and she found some chocolate candy in her bag that she got from Taiwan (Jess told me later that she found that before the flight and was about to throw it out but decided not to) and gave me a few pieces. I was immediately better after that sugar had gotten into my system but the other symptoms continue to persist and my diarrhea had actually gotten worst. It was so bad that I need to frequently visit the bathroom to make sure I didn’t poop in my pants, it sounds funny but when you are traveling a long distance and feeling weak and exhausted, it’s definitely no joke. 

After a long trip, we finally got to our hotel in Japan. We took it easy that night and I made sure to drink plenty of fluid to make sure I didn’t get dehydrated from diarrhea. 

The next day I felt 60% better and most of the symptoms were gone except the diarrhea so I thought it would be safe for us to explore the local area. Well not true, we made it to our first destination and ate lunch with no problem but as we were heading to our second location, my nose started bleeding, it was minor bleed so we brought some tissue from the local convenient store and continue our way.

After dinner as we are heading to the Dotonbori area in Osaka, my nose started bleeding again and this time a little worst and came out really fast. I wiped the blood off my face and told Jess it’s probably best we head back to the hotel. Once we were back at the hotel, I changed into my pjs and was about to get ready for bed when suddenly my nose started bleeding again and this time worst than the last two. Both of us panicked as we know that this is not normal and something is wrong. But Jess sat by my side as I’m holding the bridge of my nose to try to stop the bleeding and she prayed for me. The nosebleed was bad, and took almost 15 mins to stop the bleeding.

Afterward I slowly climbed into bed and slept for approximately 20 mins when suddenly I felt another rush of blood coming from my nose. I got up and jess immediately got me tissues and at this point the two of us are basically breaking down. We were contemplating if we should go to the ER or call a doctor to the hotel and etc. 15 mins in and the bleeding still didn’t stop, Jess came by side and said we should pray together, so we did.  25 mins in and the bleeding continue, at this point I think the two of us were just extremely freaked out and once again Jess came to me and said let’s pray again, so we did. 30 mins in and the bleeding continues, at this point I told Jess I think we need to plan for worst case scenario and have someone take me to the ER cause the bleed just ain’t stopping. We stopped for a moment before taking any action and we prayed one more time together. After we finished praying, and as we were getting ready to call the hotel lobby and I told Jess to hold off cause I think the bleed just stopped. I sat on the couch with Jess, both of us shocked on what just happened, praising God and giving thanks.

I climbed into bed praying that no more blood will come out from my nose. And nothing, not even a little bit.

I spent the rest of the night trying to make sense of what just happened because I was quite sure that could have been my last day on Earth. I know it was no coincidence because there were just too many variables involved and for them to line up in that specific sequences seems improbable. If that kind of coincidence is possible, I would have coincidentally won the lottery by now. 

There was a God who answered our prayer that night and it felt so warm and comforting to know that He’s not just watching from afar. I felt His healing hands wrapped around me and embraced me, so and so that I broke down crying thinking about His love and how much He cared for me. 

I cried in the bathroom while I was trying to take a poop and out came - Solid Poop

Amen!

Amount of bloody tissues used

Size of bag for comparison

Size of bag for comparison

How to deal with your spouse through stress

I have many couple friends that are either stressed themselves or have to deal with their spouse being stressed. And let's be honest, our relationship is no different. After being married for almost five years, we've been through our ups and downs of stresses. Outside stressors can sometimes be brought in the home and can cause tension between a couple (which has happened to us many times), but they don't have to be. I've compiled a list of things that I do to take proactive approach in dealing with stress in a marriage.

#1. Actively Listen: When Felix comes home and I know he's about to unload his work stress to me - I know it's time for me to put my phone away, turn the TV off and have him sit down and it is time for me to listen. I let him talk out and process his day's stresses, listen carefully, affirm him of his decisions, provide encouragement. Many times when I'm listening, I don't offer any advice unless it's asked... when I'm personally stressed, sometimes you just need to vent your issues. You know your spouse - only give advice when it seems like they need it. 

#2. Figure out how your spouse deals with stress + then let him/her deal with it: My husband when he's stressed out just needs his time alone to play games on the computer. When I'm stressed, I'll often cry and vent and want to get things done. So I know when Felix is stressed after a long day, I'll listen to his thoughts, and let him go off and play games. When Felix knows I'm stressed, he'll let me vent, hug me as I cry, and then help me with chores that I may want finished or drive to help me run errands I need to do. When your spouse is at their lowest, they need you to meet them there. 

#3. Find ways to care for your spouse: Just because he unloaded at the end of the day doesn't mean his stresses have disappeared. When Fel is stressed at work, packing him an extra snack with a little note, a text or making him an encouraging notecard has always reminded him that he's not alone in his stress and that there are better moments ahead. Similarly, when I am stressed somewhere - I'll often get a text or a picture of him with a thumbs up saying "you can do it!" LOL - it'll often make me smile and remind me that I always have someone on my side. 

#4. Don't take things personally: I've learned this SO the hard way. Many times when Felix is stressed out and he may take things out on me or he may ignore me. I used to internalize it as "Felix doesn't love me.. He doesn't care about my needs.." and I would resent him and bottle it up. Similarly, sometimes Felix will offer advice to me when I'm upset and I'm just not in the mood to hear it and he'll get upset that his words are not valued. Of course, in both situations because we took the reactions personally, it usually led to an argument that caused more stress to both of us. Know that stress sometimes takes a toll in different ways and occasionally, you need to just let things go and think less of yourself.. because right now your spouse needs you! 

#5. Communicate your own needs: Although it's important to not take things personally - that doesn't exempt you from becoming stressed as well. Sometimes spousal stress can lead to the other one getting stressed, especially when you may be getting the short end of the stick for many days, weeks or even months. I found that communicating my own needs really helped us deal with our relationship in a healthy way. For example, as I've said before, when Felix is stressed, he'll go off to play games and then when its time for bed, he's tired and literally passes out before I get to even say anything to him... so I'll ask him, hey, do you think you can end your game like 15 minutes early and we can just have some time in bed to chat? This will prepare him to serve me and it prevents me from getting all crazy mad before I sleep lol. 

#6. Pray for him/her: Being christians, prayer is an integral part of our daily needs. In times of stress and worry, (and excitement and praise), we rely on our heavenly father for guidance since we know that we're unable to do it all alone. We pray for guidance, courage, strength and peace in every situation we are dealing with. 

#7. Take a break together: Lastly, it's healthy to just get out of your every day environment. Planning a trip together, whether it's far or close, overnight or day can bring a different kind of excitement back into your lives. It changes up the pace and can give you a sense of renewal or maybe even give you a different outlook on your stressful situation. 

And that's our little list of how we deal with stress! Stress is never easy to deal with - but sometimes it helps when your spouse takes a proactive approach in helping you deal with it. Taking a bit of time off thinking of yourself to help your spouse -- isn't that what marriage is all about? Let me know if you have any other ones you'd add to the list! :P 

What Corn Taught Me About Relationships..

Hey all! Sorry we've been a bit off our game. We're trying to get into the groove of things but having trouble managing our schedule since Felix has been super busy and I'm still managing my beauty channel and blog! We'll get the schedule down eventually -- bear with us :) 

So I had an incident yesterday with corn that taught me a couple of things about our relationship. So let me set the scene here: my dad bought me and Fel like 10-15 ears of corn (the world may never know why.) and so I decided to boil some. Because I started it kind of late, we decided to eat dinner first and then I was going to get my corn when it was ready. 

When I realized my corn was ready - knowing it was a huge heavy pot of boiling water - I quietly went myself to pour the water out. I didn't want to bother Fel while he was eating. The pot was heavy - but I am strategic with the way I always do things, so I had full confidence everything was going to be great. As I poured the water out. a surprise corn fell out of the top of the corn pile, causing the boiling water to spill and splash onto my clothes. I've never dropped boiling water on myself before... but BOY was it hot. I quickly put the pot back, dried my clothes and went about my business. 

I decided NOT to tell Felix because I knew he would lecture me about not being careful and I mean, I was fine... but soon, my stomach started to feel like fire. It burned a bit - but in my mind I was thinking, "OHHH it's fine!" Well... 20 minutes later, I figured, well if I get ice out - he'll ask me what happened... so I told him how I accidentally spilled the hot water on my skin. He lifted up my shirt and lo and behold was as huge red splotch that was slightly bubbled. Embarrassed, I let him use my frozen fruit bag to ice it. 

As I went along the next day - every time I sat down, I was reminded of my stubbornness and pride... and in the end, this stupid corn taught me two things. 

1. Don't be afraid to ask your significant other for help. I KNEW before I poured out the water that it was going to be annoyingly heavy... however part pride and part didn't want to be a bother landed me a nice lil burn. When you have a genuine need for help no matter how big or small, your significant other loves you and cares for you and will help you in your time of need. I know for me, I would never want Felix to have to go through his burdens alone. 

2. Be Honest. I wanted to hide the truth because I knew I would get lectured - but if I did #1, I wouldn't even be in this situation... so it's important to be honest. When you confront your s/o - you can solve the problem together and take care of each other. I didn't want to get lectured - but in the end, I felt so much better knowing that Felix could help me. And then he followed up with me the next day and laughed at my dark purple mark -___- Suffering alone is one of the loneliest feelings and its not worth it because of a little bit of guilt, pride or worry. 

As silly and little as it may sound, I'm thankful for these dumb little moments that gives me a reminder for more important moments. Ha. Ha. *eye roll* :P